God is Good, and that will never change...

I'm better today. Still weird dreams, as my journal entry states, but all in all, I feel at peace. And I am glad. I don't hate today. I don't like, but I don't hate. I don't know whats next, but I do know that I don't have to listen to, nor take what has been given. He will not rule our home. Jesus will. I was reading in John last night, chapter 14:

John 14

Jesus Comforts His Disciples

¹ “Do not let your heart be troubled; ^[a]believe in God, believe also in Me. ² In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. ³ If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. ⁴ And you know the way where I am going.” ⁵ Thomas *said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?” ⁶Jesus *said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.

Oneness with the Father

⁷ If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; from now on you know Him, and have seen Him.”

⁸ Philip *said to Him, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.” ⁹ Jesus *said to him, “Have I been so long with you, and yet you have not come to know Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father; how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? ¹⁰ Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father is in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own initiative, but the Father abiding in Me does His works. ¹¹ Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me; otherwise believe because of the works themselves. ¹² Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. ¹³ Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴ If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.

¹⁵ “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.

Role of the Spirit

¹⁶ I will ask the Father, and He will give you another ^[b]Helper, that He may be with you forever; ¹⁷ that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.

¹⁸ “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. ^{19 [c]}After a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me; because I live, you will live also. ²⁰ In that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you. ²¹ He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” ²² Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” ²³ Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. ²⁴ He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me.

²⁵ “These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you. ²⁶ But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. ²⁷ Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. ²⁸ You heard that I said to you, ‘I go away, and I will come to you.’ If you loved Me, you would have rejoiced because I go to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. ²⁹ Now I have told you before it happens, so that when it happens, you may believe. ³⁰ I will not speak much more with you, for the ruler of the world is coming, and he has nothing in Me; ³¹ but so that the world may know that I love the Father, ^[d]I do exactly as the Father commanded Me. Get up, let us go from here.

That's how it all spills out on Biblegateway. Read it. If you need peace, just read it. Last night was a good start for my family. A start to a new chapter in our lives.

I'm tired. Sleep comes, but its still not great. But that is to be expected right now. Time will tell. Kody's at work right now, I hope for at least a week, if not two. But when he comes back, I won't be hateful. I won't be combative. That will get me no where. I am who I am, and that is the way my family is as well. Nothing can change that. If things need corrected, then so be it. We will correct them. But I will see them and correct them. No one will tell me what I need to do. Except God. Let me restate that, no man, in the spirit that he did, will tell me how to raise my family and live my life. But I am done. He will have to come to me, with hat in hand with true repentance before I will even think about calling him friend again. I'm just not going to put my teeth out there to be kicked again. I can't. Things still stand. His kids are still welcome at my home. Unfortunately, he isn't right now. Time will tell where we go from here. I hope I don't have to wait till my niece and nephews move out of their parents house before I get to have a real relationship with them again.

Lord give me strength, understanding, and patience. Above all, heal this family, and show us Your mighty will. In Jesus Name. Amen